"Augusta National, with an assist from nature, finally reined in technology."

Someone highjacked Dan Jenkins' laptop, broke out the pom-poms and declared love on Dan's behalf for a no-name winning a U.S. Open at his beloved Augusta National.

More than anything, some of us loved the fact that Zach Johnson never went for a single par 5 at Augusta in two. No eagle putts for this Iowa boy. But he birdied 11 out of the 16 during the four rounds. That's some kind of wedge play, son, and a winner's putting stroke.

Wow, never thought I'd read Dan-the-man lauding conservative play at Augusta. 

It was almost as if certain writers were blaming new chairman Billy Payne and The Weather Channel for the fact that there was no Jack Nicklaus, Arnold Palmer or Gary Player on the leader board shooting 17 under par.

Oh, like we don't love Dan for being the biggest of the big-name lovers. Come on Dan!

I, for one, loved it. The Augusta National, with an assist from nature, finally reined in technology. That alone was worth a roar, wasn't it?

This at least gives us some insight into that bizarre thought process that goes something like this: the course, patrons and players must suffer because a bunch of guys running the USGA (and not coincidentally also belonging to Augusta National) are afraid to admit they made a mistake about regulating distance. They are afraid to do what's best for the game because they would have to admit they blew it.

Sounds familiar. I can't think of it at the moment. It'll come to me though. It's a metaphor for something bigger in our society. It's just right there at the tip of my fingers...

Anyway, back to this column attributed to the great Jenkins...

They took the winning 72-hole score back to 289, the highest it had been since 1954 and 1956, when the basic culprits were strong, gusty winds and the hard old Bermuda/rye greens that wouldn't hold a pitchfork if Tiger Woods was swinging it.

If there was anything I liked better than seeing the tour pros have to face a tough course for a change, it was learning that Zach Johnson, the new Masters champion, is an unapologetic God-fearing lad who has a Yorkshire terrier like I do.

God-fearing? I heard a whole lot of thanking Jesus, not many nods to God. Or are they now one-and-the-same?