PGA Of America To Forbid Sweater Sales During New May PGA Championship

Fearing a backlash from veteran members, the PGA of America's planned shift to a May PGA Championship has been held up by an internal struggle over the organization's ties to the complicated art of sweater folding.

It turns out neither cool weather or television ratings have proven to be main stumbling blocks in the bold calendar move that will end the Championship's run as an August event. No, the last issue in making a May move official involves sweaters and how they are presented to shoppers in the PGA Championship Merchandise Center.

According to a MorningRead.com report by former PGA of America President Ted Bishop, the organization was set to announce the May, 2019 move following discussion about the agronomic ramifications of unseasonably cool weather years in northern regions. When a vote was to take place, the 19-member board of directors wondered cool spring weather might undo years of progressive initiatives highlighting how PGA Professionals are more than just experts at folding a lambswool half-zip. 

“A board member mentioned the S word," a source told Bishop, referring to the insensitive phrase sweater-folder. "That's when the repressed emotions and deep-seated fears came out. It wasn't pretty."

The source revealed the comment of another board member.

"The first spectator who walks into the merchandise tent and sees someone folding a sweater will associate us with the very thing we’ve worked so hard to move on from, so we just can't move to May without further exploration,” one board member reportedly announced.

Bishop’s report says the PGA of America’s current solution is to simply ban the sales of sweaters at the PGA Championship no matter how chilly the temperatures get in Rochester or on Long Island. Another source says there will be a last minute attempt to have the PGA Tour make up for lost cool-weather gear revenue since the Tour spearheaded the schedule shake-up.

“Maybe it’s sweet justice,” the source told MorningRead.com, "that the flatbellies have to pay out of their Lululimen pockets after decades of disrespecting proper soft-goods merchandising. Just because they don't wear cotton anymore doesn't mean they should disrespect those who know how to work with natural fibers.”

The term “sweater-folder” has been used in derogatory fashion by vengeful club board members and retail reps spurned by club professionals who ignored suggestions to stock $350 cashmere V-necks. While the term's origins are unclear, golf historians believe the apocryphal roots of the epithet trace to 1958 in the Winged Foot restroom. Legendary pro Claude Harmon is said to have overheard a member conversation when he went to the upper level of the men’s locker room moments after having been spotted neatly restoring three folding-unfriendly Alpaca cardigans to their factory-folded state.

Since that fateful morning, hurt caused by the term has driven some out of the business altogether and is considered so toxic that the PGA of America is set to do the unimaginable: forsake revenue.