Tiger Declares War On Jenkins Satire, Demands Apology

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To put the gravity of Tiger Woods' anger into perspective, Woods rebutted Dan Jenkins' December Golf Digest parody at The Players Tribune instead of his preferred media outlet, the upstart TigerWoods.com.

Take that, his ownself's website!

Speaking of His Ownself, Jenkins tweeted a link to the story that was only posted at GolfDigest.com after Tiger's item appeared.

Let's ignore that the word "fake" was on the magazine cover. Or that the print spread included an asterisk after the words "My Interview With Tiger*" with by the phrase "*Or how it plays out in my mind" in large type at the top.

And ignore the obviously satirical photos of a fake Tiger eating at a diner and polishing his Escalade, because the real crux for Woods appears to be that people he's hearing from are mistaking the piece for a real interview. Tiger, or someone on his payroll, writing for Derek Jeter's new website:

Did you read Dan Jenkins’ interview with me in the latest Golf Digest? I hope not. Because it wasn’t me. It was some jerk he created to pretend he was talking to me. That’s right, Jenkins faked an interview, which fails as parody, and is really more like a grudge-fueled piece of character assassination.

Journalistically and ethically, can you sink any lower?

Maybe someone someone saw "fake" on the cover and they think he "faked an interview" as a satirical device? Nothing gets by Tiger's handlers!

Golf Digest even hired an actor to pose as me in photos.

It appeared to me, having read this a week ago, as the second fastest way to let people know it was a fake interview right after using the word fake on the cover. But I'm just thinking out loud here.

Keep digging...

Fortunately, invented fiction

Quibble interruption...I think invented fiction qualifies as redundant...but keep calm and carry on...

like this is not at all what I hear on tour from the fans. It’s not the type of feedback I get from them, especially when I’ve been hurt or going through a tough stretch. Fans’ encouragement is what really matters to me.

Exactly, like when a young lad named Johnny ask for an autograph at your gated community course because they idolize you and you give them the first of their two Heismans!

Whether it’s misreported information or opinions I think are way off base, I let plenty of things slide.

That, I don't doubt.

But this time I can’t do that. The sheer nastiness of this attack, the photos and how it put false words in my mouth just had to be confronted.

Oddly, it would have gone quietly into the night until you confronted the problem.

My representatives and I asked Golf Digest for an explanation, some reason for what I think is journalistically wrong and a pretty cheap shot. Digest responded by saying it was Dan’s humor, and they didn’t think it was unfair or they wouldn’t have run it. Those aren’t great answers.

Here, is the letter we sent. Read it, and the original piece if you have to, and decide for yourself what’s fair.
~ Tiger

Here is the letter sent to Conde Nast CEO Chuck Townsend on November 12th by agent Mark Steinberg and VP of ETW Communications Glenn Greenspan. I've grabbed and embedded it here because the Wynn just posted 3-1 odds that the letter gets taken down by week's end when the bad tipping stories come out and Jimmy Kimmel makes 15 Escalade jokes upon reading the letters line about there being "no basis whatsoever" for the jabs.

Bob Harig at ESPN.com has a straightforward account of the history between the two and a summary of the column by Tiger.

Jason Sobel at GolfChannel.com tells Tiger to chill and makes this shrewd point:

For a guy who’s so often straddled the fence or bitten your lip rather than quenching our collective thirst for an opinion, it’s refreshing to read an unvarnished viewpoint on something that’s bothering you. The truth is, if you’d been this unfiltered for the past two decades, journalists would probably have less cause to write imaginary pieces guessing at what’s going on inside your head.

However, the essence of the issue here, and why this one will be staple of PR training schools for decades to come, comes from The Big Lead's Jason McIntyre, who writes:

Quick reminder: Nobody was talking about this at all until Tiger’s team went on the offensive this afternoon.

They are now.

The whole thing reminds of that oldie but goodie from Woody Allen: "You know, it's one thing about intellectuals. They prove that you can be absolutely brilliant and have no idea what's going on."