The Commissioner In Forty Years
/Bob Smiley's little send-up of Commissioner Rules-Are-For-Losers looks particularly prescient after Wednesday's fascinating press conference and reminds me how much I'm looking forward to Smiley's new satirical political novel featuring a golf-obsessed politician. A reviewer compared it to a Christopher Buckley novel, and that's good enough for me.
Anyway, Smiley has used a time-travel source to obtain the Commissioner's Spring Report to the PGA Tour's Board. Forty years into the future.
Opening Remarks:
• Mr. Finchem thanks Board for recent 105th birthday celebration at the TPC Sawgrass Clubhouse, says he's happy to "finally get a second use out of those blue drapes."
New Business:
• Commissioner confirms course changes for the upcoming Players Championship:
◦ A new tee has been approved for use on the 17th hole, stretching the island par-3 to a more competitive length of 377 yards.
◦ In turn, the old tee box for #17 will now serve as the new tee for #18. New finisher should play 712 yards from the tips, a genuine two-shotter as originally intended.
• The tweaks to the FedEx Cup point algorithm seem to be working well. Commissioner expresses confidence that the Tour can avoid last year's unfortunate scenario where the Cup Champion was ultimately decided by who won the Del Webb Father-Son Challenge.