"There in the back of the fridge lies the US PGA Championship, pumped full of water and vitamins and preservatives, but still rotting away."
/Mark Reason helps set up what will be the second post PGA question with this lethal look at what the PGA Championship has morphed into: "a competition to find 'the world's khakiest man.'"
And that is true on so many levels. But before we pick apart the PGA, here's Reason's take on what could replace the PGA ala the Evian Masters buying a place in the LPGA major rota. Though I'm not sure about the use of Oriental Open...
If a combination of Asian TV networks and corporate interests like HSBC and Sony could come up with enough dosh, surely a new Oriental Open could replace the moribund US PGA.
America's influence is waning on and off the course as Tiger and Wall Street crash together.
Yes, Asia would be buying a major, but that is the way of professional sport. It is how the US PGA started and the Ryder Cup and many of golf's premier events.
And as Asia is already joined with New Zealand, Australia and South Africa in the President's Cup, maybe the fourth major could also come to these shores every now and again.
It is anachronistic for America still to stage three of the game's majors. We could build a statue to the 'unknown golfer' and place it in a square in Middle America to commemorate the passing of the US PGA and American heroes like David.
Toms, Larry Nelson and Keegan Bradley, khaki Confederates who all won glory's last shot in Atlanta.
This year's US PGA was the first major to be won by a belly putter. Uggh.
It's time to move on. It's time to make golf the global game it pretends to be.