"The MC asks Woods a series of meaningless and soft questions before pulling out a piece of paper that contains 'questions submitted by the media'. This is not a good sign."

Ron Sirak writes about Tiger's promotional swing to Asia and what it means about his relationship with sponsors.

Tim Noonan of the South China Morning Post was one of the media invitees and tells (reg. required) quite a harrowing tale of how the "press conference" was structured.

When I finally arrive I'm encouraged to see there are numerous media all ready to work. Personally, I didn't spend the week clearing out mantle space for the Pulitzer, but I do need to know if he thinks he can still win a tournament with his B game, despite the plethora of young hungry talent out there. The MC asks Woods a series of meaningless and soft questions before pulling out a piece of paper that contains "questions submitted by the media". This is not a good sign.

"Nike is one of the fastest growing golf companies in the world. Why do you think that is and can you tell us more about your relationship with Nike?" I get that sick-to-my-stomach feeling as this proves to be the hardest question of the lot and I'm told there will be no questions from the floor. But again I know nothing about marketing so I think it's fair to ask, you brought all of us here today for this? Because this is about as much a press conference as the selection of Hong Kong's chief executive is an election. I ask a guy named Cheung from Guangzhou who works for QQ.com, a massive mainland website, if he or any of his colleagues submitted questions. "None of us were asked," he says. "That press conference was 45 minutes of nothing. It was embarrassing."

I am astounded and clearly need a marketing lesson. Was this all a ploy to get me to denigrate Tiger, arguably the most famous and infamous person in the world, and question whether he has any shame at all? Does he honestly think someone here in the Chinese media stayed up all night racking their brains trying to figure out what they would ask him and then show up to submit a question about his relationship with Nike? Well, clearly he does because Tiger answers the question with such earnestness and vigour that the only thing missing is for him to utter, "Gee, you guys ask some good questions."

And Noonan's main point: after a strong Masters golf course performance, getting to watch a Woods promotional presser in person provided a wake-up call.

All that positive mojo and you are going to force me to write that as far as he is concerned Woods behaves like he owes you and I absolutely nothing and as far as I am concerned that's perfect because absolutely nothing is exactly what you get? Honestly, I'm begging you marketing geniuses of the almighty swoosh - don't make me write this! Because so far the only lesson you and your man have taught me is that when it comes to Tiger Woods, class is non-existent.

Meanwhile, I'm not sure what's more fun in John Feinstein's latest jabs at Barry Bonds and Tiger (thanks reader JohnB for the link): the Tiger stuff or the jabs at Feinstein's sometimes-employer, Golf Channel.

His new thing is to say he can’t change his schedule and can’t play more golf because he needs time with his children. It’s a good line—one that’s tough to argue with. Of course it doesn’t explain why he was seen in The Bahamas gambling a few days before going to Augusta; then, after nine days in Augusta, jumped on a plane to go to China to sell Nike product a few minutes after his last blow-off line to Macatee.

Look, you want to go to the Bahamas and have fun—go for it. You want to be a Nike salesman and go halfway around the world—heck, maybe it’s in your contract. But DON’T do those things and then try to tell us how much you miss your kids. In fact, during an infomercial last Thursday on Golf Channel (which posed as an ‘interview,’) during which viewers had to sit and listen to the president of Nike golf pitch the new spring products right there on-camera with Tiger, co-host Erik Kuselias, trying to make the interview at least semi-legitimate, asked Woods about being away from his kids so much.

“That’s why Skype is so great,” Tiger said with a straight face. “It’s almost like being there.”

I am not a crook.

I didn’t know what I was putting in my body.

Skype is just like being there.