"So you got your movies, your stereo, bar, refrigerator, two bathrooms in the thing. Got butt washers in it. What else do you need?"

Quite eloquent stuff yesterday from Mark Calcaveccia, talking before the Schwab Cup about his touring bus.

Q. You got any good buss stories? Why did you buy the bus? Is it really cost effective to you after all?

MARK CALCAVECCHIA: Actually it is. We were just talk this week. I don't miss the packing up and getting to the hotel and throwing your shit on the hotel shuttle bus. That didn't do my back good either.

It was just nice have to all your stuff there. Just got off a month in North Carolina, two weeks in Texas, Disney stretch, and had the dogs with us. It was just a blast.

It seems to work I think really well for this tour for the most part. It really is fun to drive. It's just comfortable. It's truly your home on wheels. You know, Brenda is not a good flyer. She's been talking about it for five or six years. I didn't think she was half serious most of the time, but she was. Finally she talked me into it, and I really took to it. I like it.

But it's not for everybody. Yeah, a motor home, the first bus we bought was a Tiffin Zephyr, a 45-footer. It was electrically cursed, so we got rid of it. Now we own a -- naturally we upgraded to the Prevost Millennium, which is pretty much the rock star bus.

I haven't hit anything with that yet. Took out my gate, the one that I just tried to widen by digging up the grass, with the other one. That wrecked quite a bit. I'm only the driver. Yep, I'm it.

Q. How many flat screens do you have in it?

MARK CALCAVECCHIA: Four. Plenty of TVs.

Q. (No microphone.)

MARK CALCAVECCHIA: I don't know. We don't even know how big it is. It's a hell of a lot bigger than the hotel room we're in right now, I can promise you that. There is no bar in my hotel room either. Your got to go down to the lobby. That's a pain in the ass.

So you got your movies, your stereo, bar, refrigerator, two bathrooms in the thing. Got butt washers in it. What else do you need? It's unbelievable.