What I'm Thankful For: Not Flying Qantas In The Foreseeable Future
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A few notes and observations from Melbourne, Tasmania and points in between. More to come with photos (and no MB limits!) to upload and share of some spectacular courses. In the meantime...
- I should have known my flight to Australia was doomed when the pilots rolled in about 20 minutes before boarding time to helm an A380 that this wasn't the best organized outfit (naturally, when Captain Over turned the ignition key all hell broke loose and we left an 90 minutes late). Today's flight was a repeat, only the delay was 45 minutes.
- Do not ask Aussies if a certain flick has hit their theaters yet. Even though studios delay releases for marketing purposes and it's an innocent question, this definitely touches that whole island-v.-continent button.
- So I get baggage fees, but weighing the carry-on bags and limiting them at 12 kilos when a laptop weighs 4 left me little choice but to go all ugly American and do a Ben Stiller impersonation. They didn't budge when I suggested this might discourage business travelers, tourists buying their Ugg boots and in general, anyone from using their petty airline in the future. $150 later, I would highly recommend you use an American carrier.
- Another week, another rental car that veered left. Couldn't possibly be the driver not understanding the wrong side of the road deal.
- The Aussies aren't big on hand cream. If you go in the locker room of a golf course, wash your hands after a round and want to freshen up the mitts, don't ask the attendant if there's some lotion because he'll look at you like you're Charles Nelson Reilly breaking out in song and dance. I get it: real men have calluses, firm handshakes and sandpaper for hands.
- My favorite example of the absurdity that is staying in a hotel Down Under where the piling on of fees and inconveniences knows no end. I check into the airport hotel, park on the required fourth floor of the maze-like garage that takes about 5 minutes to reach. This is $15AUS for the privilege. When leaving, you must get your ticket validated at the front desk. But from the time of the validation to exiting the structure, you only have 5 minutes or the validation is no good. Take 6 minutes because the elevator is slow or the garage exit line backed up? That's a fee!
- While I'd love to advocate a golf trip Down Under, it's hard to get excited suggesting such a jaunt unless you are flying to Sydney or Melbourne and then taking the hour flight to Tasmania to visit Barnbougle Dunes where gouging isn't the priority. The A380 almost makes up for the Qantas experience. Almost.
