"I've seen better work by a mall cop."

There are so many eye-opening tidbits in Rene Stutzman's excellent Orlando Sentinel story on her analysis of the Florida Highway Patrol emails received from citizens, I'm not sure where to begin.

So let's go big picture and just say that after reading some of the emails the FHP received, coupled with certain revelations in the story, and I believe more than ever Tiger is in for a rude awakening when he returns. It's hard not to get the sense that his celebrity put him above the law and we know how well that goes over in this country. Combine that ego inflating news with an already lingering sense among fans that he skirted the law, and it would seem to spell trouble when he returns.

On the emails FHP received:

What upset them the most? That day after day, Woods' wife, agent or lawyer turned away troopers who wanted to question the golfer about what happened and to gather evidence about whether Woods was driving while drunk or under the influence of drugs.

Wrote one man from Canada, "I have to ask, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU PEOPLE DOING. The FHP in this incident is being bullied, and mocked by Tiger Woods. … Shame on You FHP and get back to business."

Other e-mailers compared the agency to a squad of Barney Fifes. Wrote one man, "I've seen better work by a mall cop."

In the buried lede department comes this:

FHP never did interview Woods. Three days after the crash, the agency tried but failed to get his medical records and information they might contain about alcohol or drugs. In the end, FHP ticketed Woods for careless driving and fined him $164.

Ann Howard, press secretary at highway safety-motor vehicles, said FHP handled its investigation professionally and treated Woods no differently than it treats any other driver involved in an accident.

You may recall that after Sgt. Kim Montes announced the closure of the case, the FHP said it would not comment further. Montes then did so to a local station in late December while she was on vacation and in response to the viral email endorsed by Furman Bisher. Montes suggested Tiger had given an interview on Dec. 1 at an undisclosed location, but attempts to contact her about this change of course in FHP's comment policy went unanswered and she hasn't been heard from since.

So now the Orlando Sentinel is saying that there never was an interview of Tiger by the FHP. Considering how bizarre both the timing and substance of the local television station report on Montes's comments, I'm inclined to believe the Sentinel.

And then there's this:

Agency e-mail does not spell out what legal advice FHP wanted or received, but that was the day the trooper who investigated the crash, Joshua Evans, asked the Orange-Osceola State Attorney's Office to subpoena Woods' medical records.

A witness, Evans wrote in the request, said Woods had been drinking earlier in the day and had prescriptions for pain medicine and a sleep aid.

Citing insufficient evidence, Assistant State Attorney Steve Foster said no to FHP's request.

Until then, FHP had said that alcohol was not involved in Woods' accident.

Whether it was alcohol, Ambien, Vicodin or some other intoxicating substance, it's still possibly driving under the influence, no?