"He can even wear shorts if he wants, although the Lojack tracking device his wife will probably shackle on his ankle as he heads out the door might be a bit obvious."

Orlando's Steve Elling has kicked around the idea of the Tavistock Cup hosting Tiger's return to golf and based on the list he provides, it makes overwhelming sense as the ideal place. Well, other than the world taking a close look at one of golf's most obnoxious displays of spending and excess.

Over the years, the Tavistock Group, the privately-held company that owns Isleworth and sponsors the six-year-old event, has openly welcomed anybody who was interested in covering the boutique tournament, where teams from Isleworth and crosstown club Lake Nona square off. Tavistock officials practically sent a limo to the homes of interested media members in the past.

At the moment, they are in full lockdown mode.

"We have no comment," Andy Odenbach, a Tavistock employee who runs the tournament, said in an e-mail.

We're admittedly playing media word games here, but that isn't exactly a denial. That said, let's catalog the plentiful reasons why the Tavistock might serve as the perfect pre-Masters tuneup for the elusive Eldrick, shall we?