2009 Northern Trust Photo Caption Fun, Vol. 1: Phil Confronts Marty!

I was the lone (impartial) witness to this heated encounter--as you can tell by the intense stare down from Phil Mickelson--between renowned white belt wearer Phil and his top critic, Golf Digest fashion guru Marty Hackel following Saturday's third round.

It went something like this:

Phil: Marty, Bones tells me you were critical of my white belt.

Marty (gesturing wildly): Love the belt! I just think you should wear white shoes with it.

Phil: Oh that would be way over the top!

From there it spiraled with no-on-the-white-belt votes from Jim Mackay and Butch Harmon, who were supervising the rare post-round ball striking session. (Yes, he was hitting balls after a 62.) Mickelson then explained to Hackel where the white belt concept came from, and if I shared the story (A) you'd never in a million years believe what he said and (B) it would violate the writer-player driving range off-the-record agreement that I'm sure I signed off when I autographed my PGA Tour media regulations form.

But naturally, you are welcome to offer your fictional versions of this encounter. Tastefully, of course.