Tiger's Indefinite Leave Clippings, 34th Birthday Edition

With Furman Bisher's stamp of approval, publications galore (and heavily trafficked blogs) have picked up the "real story" email details, with some now quoting Bisher directly! (Give credit to the Daily Mail for taking down their version that originally said "Bisher writes" every other sentence.)

Deadspin's A.J. Daulerio details how many times he's received the email and notes the added details in later editions. (My favorite is the stuff about Mark O'Meara playing poker with Tiger Thanksgiving night, even though he moved out of Isleworth a while ago and lives in Houston.)

Leslie Gornstein of E! analyzes the validity of the email and even manages to get a quote from agent Mark Steinberg about the contents:

"This is just another patently false rumor being circulated," Steinberg tells E!

Note to Steiney: just a few details from your end would put a stop to a lot of the speculation and absurd stufff. For example, you could explain that you weren't in Orlando the night of the incident, so that would make it kind of hard for you to have hopped in the car and headed to the hospital. Just a thought!

Gornstein also notes this regarding the Bay Hill aspect of the chain mail:

The email says: Woods is now staying in golf legend Arnold Palmer's upscale golf community, Bay Hill, in Orlando. Apparently, Woods' sports agency implored Palmer to coach him through this tough time; Palmer is seen as possibly the only person who can get through to Tiger.

The truth: That's news to staffers at Bay Hill Country Club, who tell E! they are unaware of Woods visiting since the incident.

Stephanie Wei tracks the source and puts out an APB on the culprit.

I'm just disappointed the version I posted hasn't been picked up by Bisher yet.

Just four years removed from the "Tiger at 30" orgy of columns, features and other assorted essays, Randell Mell is the only golf writer daring enough to tackle Tiger's 34th birthday needs.

But if you were going to get him a gift, what would you get him?

A compass? To find his way back?

A chauffeur? To avoid driving into fire hydrants at night?

Ear plugs? To shut out the jeers that may be coming?

Forgiveness? If you haven’t granted it, will you?

Words of encouragement? And if so, what would they be?

A prayer? If you believe, what would you pray?

Speaking of his birthday, X17 says he's spending it at Wickenberg, Arizona clinic for PR purposes.

"He has been there for a few days since his handlers forced him to enter the program. They feel that if he blames his cheating on addiction, the public will forgive him."

Jose Lambiet talks to several folks in Palm Beach and Tiger definitely is not there living the good life with Rachel Uchitel. (Thanks reader Steven T.)

It seems several people are taking issue with the UC Davis study that has now been picked up all over the place. Holes are punched here, here, here, here and here.

Steve Elling praises Golf Digest for benching Tiger's column:

We'll probably never know who made the editorial call and why, but the game's most popular publication, Golf Digest, has benched playing editor Tiger Woods indefinitely in the aftermath of his trysts with various women in various towns at various times in various positions (hey, that's about as nice as I can phrase it). After enduring ridicule for having Woods on the cover this month with a photo-shopped picture of President Obama -- the cover was in production weeks before the Woods scandal broke -- the monthly magazine elected to give the world No. 1 some time off to plot his personal and professional course. Besides, the next cover story was probably something like, "Tiger Woods: Escaping the Ultimate Bad Lie." Just wondering aloud: How many of these firms that have, somewhat controversially, stood by Woods have signed binding contracts they cannot escape from?

And finally, Bob Harig talks to several players about Tiger's play golf over the last decade.

As for anyone else putting together this kind of 10-year stretch?

"You never say never," Cink said. "When Jack was doing it, we all said, 'Nobody will ever do this again.' I think it probably will happen again, just because of the way that history does repeat itself.

"But at this point, it's hard to imagine. It's hard to imagine someone getting a lot better. Except if Tiger was an extremely straight driver of the ball. The next guy to come along to be the greatest ever will have to be a really accurate driver. That's the only thing someone could do better, and even then it's not guaranteed."