"If they were in the schoolyard, Colin Montgomerie and Ian Poulter would probably have their heads banged together (or at least their sponsored visors)."

Monty and Ian Poulter are going at it on the even of Captain Faldo's Ryder Cup picks. Ah this getting fun! James Corrigan reports:

Never mind squeaky bum time, this is squawking gob time. As the race to make the Ryder Cup reaches its critical stage, two of the players in the frame to be named as Nick Faldo's wild cards here on Sunday evening are involved in a verbal skirmish that reveals just how tense this run-in has become. So much for all that legendary European camaraderie.

If they were in the schoolyard, Colin Montgomerie and Ian Poulter would probably have their heads banged together (or at least their sponsored visors). A petty squabble has descended into the bitterly personal and has overshadowed the Johnnie Walker Championship where six Ryder Cup rookies were trying their damnedest to qualify by right.

And here's the monumental debate at hand...

Responding to Poulter's advise that he should "keep his head down and play good golf" rather than make comments about the Open runner-up having "a hotline to Faldo", Monty let rip.

"Nice to be told what to do by one so young and one so inexperienced," said the 45-year-old, his quivering top lip underlining the extent of his fury. "Can you honestly believe he said that? The only reason that we said 'a hotline to Faldo' is because he has said he has spoken to Nick. Has anyone else said that? No. Right then. It is Nick Faldo's decision. Self praise is no praise."

And what a fine captain Monty will make!

Lawrence Donegan writes, "So much for the big, happy family that is European golf." At least there's one happy family in all of this: the media!