"If I hear one more person complain about slow play I’m going to punch ‘em in the nose and look at their face as they try to figure out how, and what just happened."
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Thanks to Ryan Ballengee for noticing TheGolfChannel.com lowering the bar with Michael Collins' "Caddie Corner" groaner of a column:
The Darwinesque lede:
Yes, we’re slow; do you work for a chance at 9 million bucks a week? No? Then shut up.I think that was supposed to be funny. Either way, Collins announces for XM Radio's PGA Tour coverage and shares this wonderful anecdote:
If I hear one more person complain about slow play I’m going to punch ‘em in the nose and look at their face as they try to figure out how, and what just happened.
Last week at THE PLAYERS I’m on the fifth hole waiting by the green for Tom Lehman and Greg Kraft to putt out so I can call the shots of Phil Mickelson and Bernhard Langer when this “Goober” in a NASCAR hat, dirty t-shirt, and 13 teeth says to me, “These guys are too damned slow. Look at this Bill Shaft guy (he meant Greg Kraft), he’s backed off this putt twice already and it’s only 4 feet.”
I patiently waited for Greg to drain his putt (nice par save); he did back off four times, before I turned back to “Goober” and said, “Yeah, I bet you’d be much faster than these guys out there if you were playing.”
“Hey man, they’re professionals!” He said back getting extremely defensive and for good reason, I’m a scary looking dude…or not.
“Exactly,” I explained. “So if it takes the best players in the world five-and-a-half hours to play a course with 35 mph winds and greens you couldn’t hit, more or less putt, maybe you should respect the fact that for 9.5 million they’re here giving it their all while you’re in THAT hat and t-shirt drinking a beer complaining. What do you do for a living?”
That's the way to build that satellite radio listening audience!
