"If Tiger Woods' test comes back negative, what does it matter what the rest of them are on?"

The European Tour's George O'Grady held court at Royal Montreal and dazzled writers with some prime one-liners on various issues, including the performance enhancing drug issue. Steve Elling reports:

O'Grady estimated that drug tests will cost $1,000 per player, which makes the possibility of testing an entire European Tour field all but impossible. The PGA Tour will have that luxury, conversely, if it elects to head in that direction. Many of the particulars on testing and penalties are still in flux and financials will doubtlessly play a huge role in how much urinalysis is done on the various worldwide circuits.

"So it's not so simple as pissing into a pot and moving on," O'Grady said. "We cannot write off a million pounds. We don't have that kind of money."

And this beauty...

 Prodded by a reporter, O'Grady also unleashed a half-serious zinger with regard to the drug testing program, which is being initiated as much to protect the sport's reputation as it is to catch what's assumed to be a tiny handful of cheaters, if any.

Just test Tiger Woods and be done with it.

"From what I understand, he would be the first in line to volunteer for testing," O'Grady said. "If Tiger Woods' test comes back negative, what does it matter what the rest of them are on?

Can you imagine the notoriously cautious and professionally stiff Finchem uttering any of the above? Didn't think so.