"What, are we going to fight? Are we going to get into a fight? Why should I be intimidated?"

The Golf Channel boys were lauding Woody Austin's wonderful week of rambling, neurotic media center appearances. And why not, it makes great television! Highlights from Sunday's train wreck:

 Q. You were right, yeah. That was sort of -- but that was where I was kind of going. Now that it's over, how do you feel?

WOODY AUSTIN: Well, like I said on Friday, you cannot give somebody seven shots, especially someone who happens to be the best player in the world.

And I -- like I said, I went over his round and over my round, and I outplayed him from tee-to-green. Seven shots I gave up in one round. Now, I wasn't supposed to be disappointed? Like I said, a person in my position cannot give that man that much cushion. That's why I was disappointed and that's why I came up short.

Okay Rory.

Q. My question is quite similar. You're in your early 40s, why now, what about your game, your career has made this possible?

WOODY AUSTIN: Well, like I said all along, I was a pretty good player a long time ago. I didn't just come out of the bank like everybody thought I did. I just got sidetracked. Everybody gets sidetracked.

Kind of a Roy Hobbs of golf, eh? 

There's only a few of us that their lives just kind of go according to plan. Most of us have all of those bumps and peaks and valleys. Unfortunately I had a few pretty big peaks and valleys, and it's just taken me a little bit longer to maybe -- like I said, it may be just that at 43 I deal with my nerves better than I did at 32. I was a better player at 32 than I am now, but maybe I just handle my nerves better. That's the biggest key for me is how I handle my nerves.

I don't think anybody plays any better than I do when I'm on; I know that's crazy, but I think I can hit any shot anybody in the world can hit. But it's hard to do that when you're afraid of it, and that's the fight I have every day.

Yeah, it's crazy, but we'll let it slide.

Q. I understand that qualified you for the Presidents Cup. Do you have any thoughts on that or is it too early for you to tell?

WOODY AUSTIN: Well, that makes me real happy because I've always wanted to be in one of those things. I think my personality suits that kind of competition. I'd like to think that my personality is a lot like Tiger's, very out there, very emotional, and I think in that format, in a team format, in a two-man or a one-on-one, I like the idea. I like the competition. I like the mano-a-mano, one-on-one, look you in the eye, as opposed to coming out at 8:00 and the other guy comes out at 3 o'clock. I like looking right at you when I'm playing you and I think that's going to be a lot of fun.

Ah but it won't be the same seeing you in nice clothes.

Q. Going back to your comment about liking to look players in the eye, would you have liked to have been paired with Tiger today?

WOODY AUSTIN: I said it yesterday. I was upset -- I was disappointed with my bogey and Steve's birdie. I wanted to be in that arena. Like I said, I maybe looked at it as a little bit strange, but I think I have the almost identical personality in a way that he does, in that I want to be right there.

He always says -- what does he always say? He always says, "I want to be in the last group on Sunday." If he wants to be there, and I want to be -- why do I not want to be there? Why would I want to be somewhere else? I want to be there just as much as he does. I don't get why you would want to not be there or be, as you say -- as you always say, are you intimidated by him? I don't get that either. What, are we going to fight? Are we going to get into a fight? Why should I be intimidated?

I'm intimidated by the fact that I have a chance to win a golf tournament. I'm not intimidated by any other person. I'm intimidated by the golf.

Ok, on that note, let's move on to the heavyset gentleman sweating profusely in front of mike 4.

Q. You've had a good summer. What do you attribute the good play to, and the second part is, you putted well today, were there any adjustments you made after Friday on the stroke?

WOODY AUSTIN: I did work on some things today. One of the best -- one of the best pieces of advice I think I ever got far as putting-wise was from one of the best putters of all-time, Ben Crenshaw. I really concentrated really hard today to not grip the putter. I did the best I could on short putts or anywhere from ten feet or closer to make sure I had the lightest grip I could possibly have and still actually make the stroke.

You know, I putted from ten feet a hell of a lot better today than I did the rest of the week.

Now, I swear I heard him then say "So thank you, Ben."  

Am I hearing voices or are these transcripts lacking?