Martin Kippax Tabbed To Headline Amateur Comedy Hour At Carnoustie's Craw's Nest Pub

These R&A buffoons are trying to outdo their USGA counterparts, and I must say, doing a fine, fine job!

Oh, and I'm not talking about Graham Brown's outrageous comments, but instead the opening to Wednesday's R&A press conference from Martin "Let's play those holes over again" Kippax.

Very tasteful choice here in light of his inability to secure a hole location and considering Mr. Brown's behavior the night before:

MARTIN KIPPAX: Hello, ladies and gentlemen. A little bit of humor perhaps to start with. One of our members, Rhodri Price, as you many of you know, on his way home from the course last night at 10:00 decided it would be a good idea to get a pizza, so he got his pizza and he went home to his hotel room, switched on his favorite television program, sat down, had himself apparently a present of some bubble bath.

He decided to have a bath. So there he is, he ran his bath, put the bubble bath in, went next door, 15 minutes later, watched the television program, came in and then decided it was time for the bath. Went into the bathroom, no water in the bath. He had forgotten to put the plug in. So, R&A couldn't run a bath (laughter).

Hardy har, har...banging fist on table here!

On a serious note, look how badly Peter Dawson bungled this question and how Kippax of all people had to mop up for him:

Q. What kind of message do you think it sends out, the image of the game, the image of The R&A, that he's going to continue to serve?

PETER DAWSON: If I can answer that, my understanding is that this was a private dinner held by the Association of Golf Writers. Any image that's sent out to the game is a matter for the people in this room.

MARTIN KIPPAX: I hope that what we're doing is we're saying that The R&A would not want to be associated with anything which is in the slightest bit racist or anything of that nature. And I hope that that's accepted by this room. I mean, that's the way it is. We've had it out with Graeme and that's the way we see it.

PETER DAWSON: Thank you very much indeed, ladies and gentlemen.