"I told myself there ain't but one way to get them out of there, and I reckoned I was gonna have to do it the manly way."

Yes, there are actually people who speak like that. Boo Weekley to be exact.

Golf World's John Hawkins profiles Weekley and shares this among several classic anecdotes:

By October the bumpkin had turned back into a pumpkin. Perhaps the lowest point came when Boo used a Port-a-Pottie at a tournament and dropped his courtesy-car keys in the toilet about two hours before a flight. The good news was the airport was only 20 minutes away. The bad news was Weekley didn't have a fishing rod. "I told myself there ain't but one way to get them out of there, and I reckoned I was gonna have to do it the manly way," Boo says. "So I put some snuff up my nose to cut down the smell, stuck my arm in there and reached around until I found 'em."