The Next OnStar Ad?

I am not a member of the striking Writer's Guild, and here is why.

It occurred to me that when Rory Sabbatini may have run off with his Buick Enclave after WD'ing from Tiger's event at Sherwood, the inability to locate his courtesy car should have been solved by GM's OnStar system. If you've seen any of Tiger's OnStar ads, you would know this.

Since I'm always looking to turn a negative into a negative, I thought it would be wise to pitch this as the next Tiger Woods OnStar commercial. Here's what I've got so far, but your suggestions are always welcome. Unless you are a member of the Writer's Guild:

FADE IN: INT. SHERWOOD COUNTRY CLUB CLUBHOUSE
Target World Challenge Tournament Director Greg McLaughlin is conferencing with Tiger Woods in the Men's Locker Room. Both men look gravely concerned, and we faintly here Woods ask, "What about OnStar?"

CUT TO: McLaughlin seated, talking to imaginary interviewer in hip, reality show format

GREG McLAUGLIN
Rory Sabbatini withdrew from the final round of our tournament and left for Los Angeles International Airport in one of course Buick Enclave. As tournament director, I didn't know what to do because we had to have the vehicle back immediately.

CUT TO: Woods seated, talking to imaginary interviewer.

TIGER WOODS
I said to Greg, "Rory Sabbatini is precisely why they invented OnStar." Their Stolen Vehicle Assistance will locate the car.

CUT TO: Woods in Sherwood Country Club parking lot, talking to female, under 30, hot sounding OnStar representative.

TIGER WOODS
Hello OnStar? We've got this moron who ran off with one of our courtesy cars.

ONSTAR REPRESENTATIVE
I have the Target World Challenge field list right here. Is it Rory Sabbatini?

TIGER WOODS
How did you know?

ONSTAR REPRESENTATIVE
We know everything. We'll get the location to you right away.

CUT TO: Ext. McLaughlin and Woods are driving in a Buick Enclave and pull into a parking lot near LAX with Woods on phone to OnStar representative. They spot Sabbatini's missing courtesy car, give each other a high five and Woods speaks.

TIGER WOODS
Thanks OnStar. We'll remember to use Stolen Vehicle Assistance next year when we invite John Daly.

CUT TO: On Screen OnStar graphic and voiceover.

FADE OUT.