Christina Kim Takes Reader Questions On Abysmal Nabisco Pace Of Play

You have to love her honesty in answering reader comments on Twitter! Which playing partner is she referring to?

"A notice in Monday’s sports section would do more to speed up the circuit’s habitual snails than a private fine, and it would show the Tour is dedicated to stopping slow play."

Although Tim Finchem made a decent case for why the PGA Tour doesn't need the penalty/fine/suspension transparency found in other sports, Rex Hoggard points out the most glaring weakness of the Commissioner's argument.

That other sports embrace transparency over secrecy seems of little interest to Finchem.

“We are in a little different situation; that if a fight breaks out in the NBA between a couple of players and some fans, the commissioner pretty much needs to say, this is what I did to protect that from not happening again.”

But then if the Tour’s rules, like all laws, are aimed at prevention, then what harm would come from, say, publishing the complete list of “slow play” fines? A notice in Monday’s sports section would do more to speed up the circuit’s habitual snails than a private fine, and it would show the Tour is dedicated to stopping slow play.

Trevino: "But Herb and I have the greatest record of all. Twice, he and I have gone through a onesome."

Few days get any better than today's if you are a golf writer. The fine folks at the Champions Tour and Brenner-Zwikel brought Ian Baker-Finch, Tom Watson and Lee Trevino into the Toshiba Classic media center to talk about whatever us four scribblers present asked.

Watson and Baker-Finch were great as are most of the old geezers at the festive Toshiba, one of their favorite stops for good reason (fun old style course, well run event, great weather and even better location).

But it was Trevino, making one of only two Champions appearances this year, who reminded us that he's a national treasure. As you read this, try and imagine him in full Merry Mex storytelling mode and pretty much non-stop laughter from the four scribblers, because the transcript doesn't do his performance justice.

I asked about slow play and whether Trevino misses the five hour (plus!) rounds they are playing on the PGA Tour.

LEE TREVINO:  They just won't do anything about that, you know. If you gave a 2‑shot penalty instead of $100 fine, they would speed up.  You got to put the two shots on them.  And they wouldn't do them.  That two shots could cost four or $500,000. 

If you are in second place, and you get a 2‑shot penalty for slow play and you end up 5th ‑‑ that kid, I was watching the AT&T at Pebble Beach.  I don't remember who it was, did he double bogey? He double bogeyed 18.  Marino.  He was in second place.  He ended up 5th. 

And I looked it up.  I showed it to my son.  I said, this is what you got to do.  He went crazy.  He says, he hit a hell of a shot.  He pulled the 5‑iron a little bit and it went in the water.  It cost him $432,000 that double bogey.   If he pars the hole he can't win, understand? But he could finish second by himself. It cost him $432,000, you see? 

Slow play, the only way that you can fix slow play is you got to be consistent.  When I went out on TOUR, when I went years ago, they gave you two shots automatic. Nicklaus got two shots right away, 1960 up at Portland. Joe Black gave it to him. I never forget it. He was slow playing.  He said you got 2. He won it anyway.  He still won.  But he got 2. You got to do the two shots.  They give you a fine. These guys are making $10 million a year.  What the hell is a fine?  You understand?  I don't care if it's a $10,000 fine, that's not anything. 

Q. But they put the group on the clock and it usually is one guy?

LEE TREVINO:  They know who it is. Listen to me. These guys are professionals. Our officials are professionals.  They know exactly who is playing slow.  They know who it is.  You don't have to put the 3‑some on the clock, you can go to the individual. 

Every time I got ‑‑ you know how fast I am? And I get in a fast group, they would come to me and say listen, you are out of position. Come to me!  I said go tell that SOB that slow plays in the group.  But they would tell me.  I'm a fast player.  You got to go to two shots. 

Our officials are professionals.  Understand? Now whether they can do this or not, you have to understand that this TOUR is run by the board, the board of professional golfers. They are the ones that have to vote on this, to my knowledge.  To my knowledge they would have to vote on that. And they are not going to. 
And this is when the Commissioner should take over, if you want to go faster. You understand? 

Of course, the Commissioner has said he doesn't believe that is necessary.

I guarantee you, after you give a couple of them, these guys will be running up No. 1. They will hit their driver. They will be jogging out there.They will be wearing Fred Couples shoes, those Eccos, where you could run and everything.

You got to go to the 2 shot.  But our officials are professionals, all you have to do is tell them.  They can't do it.  They tried.  They are out there.  They are clocking everybody.  They are working their buns off.  You see them out there all the time.  Their hands are tied to give the guy a 2‑shot, you know.  They give them $100 fine, $200 fine. It's crazy. 

That was like ‑‑ who was the crazy one that just died? Tommy Bolt. When you practice, you could only hit one ball on the green. Tommy would hit two or three, and one of the officials came up to him and said, ‘Tommy, you can't do that.’  Why not? ‘It's a $25 fine if you hit more than one ball on the green.’ He handed him $200, and he said, ‘Keep the change, I'm going to hit three more.’  That's the way it is.  That's how crazy it is with an itty-bitty fine like that. 

Randy Youngman asked about his back problems starting with getting struck by lightning.

LEE TREVINO:  It ripped my back out.  I had a disc removed. Then I had another problem with a nerve hitting a bone. I had a procedure which burns the nerves and I was okay. 

Then I reinjured it in '03, and I couldn't do anything.  I lost all of the compression of the disk in 3, 4.  The nerve was actually trapped. And they found this apparatus called X Stop, it wasn't legal in this country. I went to Germany, to Cologne to have it done.

It's a little roller with wings, and it goes into your back.  It's not attached to anything.  It goings in between the little bones and it lifts up the vertebrae to where you get your space back. 

I have 2 of them in.  I've never had a spasm or my back hurt since '04.  I had them put in in May of '04.   I lift weights.  I do everything.  I can't run. They don't want me pounding. 

But it was a miracle.  This thing. It's called an X Stop. People that are interested in this, it's for spinal stenosis is what it is. When people start going down and they start losing compression in the back.  The reason you see people leaning over all the time, they have no room, no space. When you they lean forward it opens it which relieves the pressure.As they try to straighten up, it closes and this is what pinches the nerve. 

But they can Google this by going X Stop spacer.com. Very simple. They will tell you.  Not everybody is a candidate for it. Bone density has a lot to do with it. 

Q. Do you think all of your back problems were from lightning that day or hitting balls?

LEE TREVINO:  Probably hitting balls and the lightning and stuff.  It probably was. I ruptured the disk right after I got hit by lightning.  I ruptured it picking up a pot.  It wasn't that it just ruptured.  I remember picking up a flower pot over in the corner and my wife wanted me to move it.  So I go over and pick the damn thing up and I remember when I popped it. I remember when I did it.

I did the one in the neck, too.  The 7 in the neck, I have a plate behind my throat, I have a small plate in there with 6 screws in it in my neck.  I still have pretty good motion. 

But I ruptured that one hitting balls.  It popped also.  I heard it, boom.  And they went in through here and put a plate in behind my throat. 

I'm a bionic man.  I told my wife I was going to be cremated. I said, ‘When I die and they bring you the ashes you put your hand in the urn, if you don't get 2 rollers and a plate, Damn, they are not mine!’ That's what I told her.  ‘You reach in those ashes, and if there is not 2 X Stop rollers in there and a plate with 6 screws, those are not my ashes.’  That's what I told her.

We were guffawing at his point...not that you could tell by the transcript. I asked about the 1986 Masters and where Trevino watched it from.

LEE TREVINO:  Oh, when he won. We got completely inebriated at the Atlanta airport.  We left Augusta to the airport.  No, I drove. What the hell?  I'm first off. 

So when I finished, Jack hadn't teed off. My wife and I are driving to the airport. Jack is on 14. And then he eagles 15. And the airline, there was a bar across from the gate in Atlanta, and I am drinking double scotches.  I mean I hit a wall when I went in that airport. And he won that tournament. Hold the plane, hold the plane. We are screaming at this guy to hold the plane. Everybody is watching.  The airport is going nuts.  My wife and I are there and I'm hitting it hard, I'm hitting it hard, come on, Jack. I'm hitting it hard. 

He originally thought my question was about Jack's last Masters and finishing on the 9th hole Saturday.

What I was talking about, what a mistake Augusta made there. God, almighty. I begged him to go back.  I begged him to go back one more year and so did Barbara, but he didn't  For the greatest player that won that tournament six times, Augusta, he finishes on 9. 

You can't do that. You are supposed to yank his ass out there and say, ‘You are going off the front.  I don't give a damn if you are playing by yourself. You are going to finish on 18. You are going to take that walk. He never had a shot to take that walk. I couldn't believe it.  I was absolutely dumbfounded.

I said, ‘What in the hell are they thinking about?’  He never got a chance to come up 18.  He came up 9.  Those people are not going to leave 18 to watch him walk 9.  It was too bad. 

'86, when he won that tournament, he had a putter that looked like a sailboat.  That thing looked like a sailboat.  It was made out of aluminum.  That thing was light, too.  It was big.  Hell, my first car wasn't that big. He could putt with it, too.  He could putt with anything. Jack, the way he stroked, his mannerisms of putting, he could put with a broom.  It didn't make any difference what he putted with.

The subject of today's players and Tiger came up. Trevino brought up the lack of money games. Lee's chances of becoming a USGA spokesman died here.

LEE TREVINO:  You can't find them anymore.  Nobody plays for money anymore.  Nobody plays for money.  We played $5.00 yesterday, and I won all three ways and I never got paid.  They never paid me.  Nobody plays for money anymore. Those games are gone.  We used to play $100, $200. Nobody plays. 

And the reason – handicaps.  Everybody has a handicap. It's not right. The handicap is not true.  They turn in scores and get a handicap. You play, I'm a little bit better than you, what do you want?  2 a side?  I will give you 2.  You beat the guy.  You give him 3. He might win, take it back to 2.  That's the way you do it. 

Now they want handicaps.  I'm a 10, when the guy is really a 5. You can't beat him. 

But if he is a true handicapper he can't win.  He only gets 80 percent out of the 10best scores.  He doesn't realize that.  He think it's 100%. You take a 5, 6 handicapper, that's an 80 shooter. He thinks he is a 76, 75 shooter. When you turn in 20 scores they only take the best 10.  Then you only get 80 percent of that. 

So your handicap is not 100%.  Me, in my club, I'm actually a plus 2.  So now he is really dead because I get him on this side, and I got him on this side. 

There is no more games. We play for nothing. I play with Herb Durham twice a week. He is 86.  We play in a couple of hours.  We have the record at Preston Trails.  A guy by the name of Semens and I, we played an hour 38 minutes, 2 carts at 12 o'clock.  This is how busy the course was.  A day like this, noon we teed off, because they stopped serving lunch at 2, and we wanted to make sure we get the buffet.  We teed off at noon.  We finished at 1:38, and it was beautiful day like this.  We teed off noon and didn't go through a group. We were the only twosome on the golf course. 

But Herb and I have the greatest record of all.  Twice, he and I have gone through a onesome.

And I believe it!

Finally, the tour's Dave Senko asked about Trevino's win at Shoal Creek, home of this year's Tradition. He specifically asked about the hat Trevino borrowed that week.

LEE TREVINO:  I'm in the locker room, and I forgot my hat.  My assistant, you remember, he was there with me.  I said, go to the pro shop and buy me a hat.  A little old man about 80.  He had a hat on.  He said, Mr. Trevino, use mine.  It was beige.  You could have deep fried a chicken with all of the oil on this hat. 

Really.  You could have deep fried something.  This thing was oily.  It was bad. 

So I said, I'll take the hat.  So I wore that hat and I won it. 

If you see the film it has the little Shoal Creek thing on it.  Usually when I finish some kid will say, Mr. Trevino, let me have your hat.  And I am signing something, and I will go like this.  S***, nobody asked me for this hat.  So I'm still wearing the hat. Here it is 10 at night, I walk out of the pressroom, I have had at least 8 beers, and I walk out of there and there is a little lady standing at the edge of the fence there. 

And she says Mr. Trevino?  I said, yes.  Could I have your hat?  I said no, ma'am, a gentleman gave me this hat, it was a good luck charm and I am keeping it. 

She said, that's why I asking you for the hat.  That was my husband's.  So I gave her the hat back.  But nobody wanted it.  It had enough oil in it to fry a chicken. I will tell you, it was unbelievable. Thank you.

No thank you!

Ben Crane Offers Best Incentive Yet To Issue Two-Shot Slow Play Penalties

Rich Lerner interviews Ben Crane about his workout videos and debuts an agonizing new one, this time spoofing his addiction to rudeness, a.k.a. as his slow play addiction. Crane chalks up his inability to be considerate of his fellow golfers to "overtrying, just trying too hard" and because "I care too much."  He also says this "isn't who I am" and, "yes I play slow golf."

So why not make fun of my inconsiderate and entitled ways?

The Commissioner has made clear he does not believe two-stroke penalties are appropriate, but when a player is openly mocking the notion of slow play even as it's become a bigger issue than ever, could this be the time that we start enforcing the 45-second rule?

The Bear Trap Keeps The Slow Play Spotlight Shining!

Even with turtles Crane, Holmes and Cink having WD'd from the Honda Classic, Thursday's winds and the atrocity that is PGA National conspired to give birth to 5 1/2 hour rounds in the morning and I believe, even a longer rounds in the afternoon. Play was halted at 6:25 with several groups still on the course.

Steve Elling writes:

In a steady 30 mph breeze, the scoring average through the partially completed opening round was 73.826 for the field, or a staggering 3.83 strokes over par, which is rarefied air indeed in PGA Tour circles.

The highest scoring at any tour-sanctioned event in 2010 came at the difficult U.S. Open at Pebble Beach, where players averaged 3.98 strokes over par for the week.

"It's U.S. Open-like conditions out there," said Nick Price, a three-time major winner, after shooting 70 on Thursday.

In tough conditions like today I find the pace less offensive. It's the 5 to 5 1/2 hour rounds when the weather is good that really speak to what a blight this has become.