The Skill Open?

Get the Washington Post ombudsman on the line!

We have some good old fashioned anti golf ball bias displayed by Leonard Shapiro, who not only dares to suggest a retro equipment tournament, but proposes that Nike run it!

Back in June, when the PGA Tour pulled the plug, for now, on Washington playing host to a tournament for the next few years, I received several e-mails from a friend and Northern Virginia neighbor, Howard Jensen, clearly a thinking man's golfer himself, who offered an intriguing alternative to the usual stroke play format for a tournament he'd love to see some day replace the Kemper/FBR/Booz Allen Open.

The play of Woods and Pavin over the last two weeks reminded me of his proposal, which follows mostly in his words. It includes a deep-pocketed sponsor -- he suggested Nike--that would put up the prize money -- say $5 million -- and dictate the rules of play that would go something like this:

Equipment: Nike selects a standard shaft, maybe graphite, and a standard ball (soft) that all players must use. The goal is to select a shaft and ball combination that, in the hands of the longest hitters, would only carry 300 yards maximum when hit perfectly.

See the bias. Criminal I tell you! Here's more from Len's equally biased friend:

"Skill with mid-irons and skill around the greens becomes a significant factor in professional golf again. The equipment in the bags of all players is identical, no tricked-up wedges, no fairway iron/woods, no fade driver/draw driver combinations. It's pure golf, pure equipment.

"This is not a radical notion. Every other professional sport uses standard equipment for all players, even NASCAR. The Battle Cry will boil down to a single question: Is it the player, or is it his/her equipment?

And naturally, this next point is just ludicrous. The plummetting ratings and Tom Fazio say the people want long drives, so they must want the power game, not silly stuff like this:

"Fan interest would be off the charts, drawing in even the casual golf fan. Sports radio and ESPN will have a field day hyping the event, and Washington would be the place to be in the world of golf.

GWAA British Accommodations Contest Winner

Alan Shipnuck and Barker Davis delivered memorable rants (here and here) on their Hoylake hotels, but if I were judging the (no chance in hell) Golf Writers Association of America's writing contest award for best British Accommodations story, Bob Verdi's July 28 Golf World rant (not posted) would take the Weekly division prize.

If they can build a Rolls-Royce, why can't they build a shower that works? I stepped into the shower stall the other day, and that's exactly what happened. A shower stall. Instead of a simple knob or handle, there's a control panel that looks like it belongs in an airplane cockpit. Flashing lights, arrows, diagrams, cables, dials. Everything but water. When I attempted to activate the contraption, the spigot just sort of hissed, as if to mock my pathetic body.

I yelled for help, and was informed that, in order to secure hot water, I first must flip a switch. It's 100 degrees and I've got to flip a switch to get warm? And where's the switch? It's in the adjoining room, the one with a toilet. Once water arrives, it does so reluctantly and in wild spurts, occasionally so scalding that you hang from the glass partition, hugging it for safety, as if posing for a chest X-ray. 
 

MEDIA ADVISORY: "Bivens Fully Aware That She Will Be Asked Tough Questions"

From The Golf Channel:

LPGA Commissioner Carolyn Bivens to Answer her Critics on Friday’s Sprint Post Game on The Golf Channel

WHO: Carolyn Bivens                      Commissioner, LPGA Tour

Steve Sands                          Sprint Post Game Host

Brian Hewitt                           Sprint Post Game Analyst

WHAT: Carolyn Bivens will appear on Friday’s Sprint Post Game news program on The Golf Channel, following the conclusion of the third round of the Evian Masters.  Fully aware that she will be asked tough questions, Sprint Post Game will provide a forum for Bivens to answer her critics, explain her positions and to defend her record.

Yes, fully aware that they'll be doing something unusual, like actually asking tough questions!

WHEN: Sprint Post Game

Friday, July 28, 9:30 – 10:30 p.m. ET

WHERE:The Golf Channel

This ought to be fun. I mean, to see if The Golf Channel asks tough questions...

Van Sickle Looping

Gary Van Sickle is caddying this week for Andy North, which means Van Sickle will have to do double duty: loop and come up with one-liners:

I overslept due to severe jet lag, got started late and didn't get to the course until 10:10. As I hustled to the range, I noticed North was already out there hitting balls. As I walked up, he was being pulled aside by a TV crew for an interview. "I'm late," I told him. He grinned. "Can a caddie get fired on his first day? Is that possible?" he joked.

I went over to his bag to wait, took the towel over his bag and dipped it into one of the buckets of water located behind the hitting area. A good caddie always has a towel with one wet end so he can wipe down clubs and golf balls. North already had two dirty clubs from hitting balls so I spiffed them up. Just part of the job.

New Tiger/Nike Ad

You know how excited I get about the lastest manufacturer ad campaigns. But this new Tiger ad is worth a look.

And if you want to watch it without the annoying circles highlighting his various pieces of equipment, just float the mouse over the lower right portion of the image and you can turn off that feature. 

The Lost Statements of Henry Hughes

Last week we featured a mistaken Michelle Wie press release from the PGA Tour that went out by accident to members of the media. Well my sources in Ponte Vedra have unearthed two more Henry Hughes statements that never were emailed to writers.

“The PGA TOUR congratulates Phil Mickelson on his historic accomplishment of winning his third straight major at Winged Foot, becoming the first to do so since Tiger Woods in 2000. His quality of play over the final round is a testament to the level of performance and individual achievement found on TOUR. The PGA TOUR wishes him well in his attempt to win a fourth straight major at the British Open.”

And this one is a bit dated, but an understandable mistake:

"The PGA TOUR congratulates Thomas Dewey on his election as President of the United States. His quality campaign overcame Harry Truman's negative advertising and is a testament to the level of performance and individual achievement that is found every week in America, especially on the PGA TOUR."

Oops, Wrong Attachment

Looks like the PGA Tour's Joan Alexander attached the wrong Henry Hughes statement on Michelle Wie's John Deere WD due to heat stroke:

Comment from the PGA TOUR on Michelle Wie making the cut at the John Deere Classic:

“The PGA TOUR congratulates Michelle Wie on her historic accomplishment in making the cut at the John Deere Classic, the first female in more than 60 years to do so on the TOUR. Her quality of play over the first two rounds is a testament to her high level of performance and individual achievement. The PGA TOUR wishes her well in her play this weekend.”

Henry Hughes
Senior Vice President and Chief of Operations PGA TOUR

"Just write the truth. Golf has enough press agents."

The Houston Chronicle's Doug Pike offers an entertaining Q&A with author Curt Sampson on a range of subjects, including the best writing advice he ever got from Desmond Muirhead.

Tarde: Wishes Distance Regulation Had Happened

In his August, 2006 editor's column, Golf Digest editor Jerry Tarde lists his "Top 5 Wished They'd Happened" moments in golf. Number 5:

The USGA holding the line on distance in 1976, 1982, 1984, 1987, 1995, 1996, 2004, 2005, 2006. 

This, combined with his June Top 5 that included 4 ways to deal with distance (only one suggestion to do nothing), requires that I add Tarde to The List. I'm sure this will make his month.

Pucker Up and Shill

That line about the smaller the ball, the better the sports writing? (Wind, Plimpton, Jenkins...one of 'em said it first.)

Well GolfDigest.com's "Bomb and Gouge" blog is going to do everything in its power to prove that it's not true.

This latest puckering up to a certain advertiser based in the lone state where Bruce and Steven can get married:

Gouge:  It is hard for me to say this, but if a professional golfer can average 207 yards off the tee and make the cut at the most prestigious tournament of the year, then maybe we don't need to worry so much about a rollback of any kind. 207? It is true. Rosie Jones did that this week. In fact, only the teenage wondergirl hit it farther than 280 on some of her measured drives. Hardly anyone else even came close to that. OK, so Rosie was barely in the tournament and retired from competitive golf after putting out on the 18th on Sunday. But still the average drive at the U.S. Women's Open was just 228.7, and that's hardly a threat to any golf course.

That's right, they are gauging distance by using a tournament that had standing water in its bunkers and a tournament where they couldn't even let spectators on the course on practice round Monday. Either they are intentionally misreading readers, or they didn't actually watch the event. Either way, not good. Oh but it gets better.

You want to know what's the real problem? People who complain that the golf ball is going too far may be short-sighted. The problem is that at the elite level (men) it's not the ball, it's the golf course. If men are driving it 28 percent farther than women, then why (at least in the case of the U.S. Open) are the men playing a championship course that is only about 10 percent longer? Shouldn't the U.S. Open and all significant men's championships be played at courses that are about 8,000 yards long, or at least 7,500 yards long? Well, I guess they're not because there's no room to make Winged Foot, Oakland Hills, Oak Hill, Southern Hills and Merion that long. That infatuation with the past is what Emerson called a foolish consistency. 

Whoa, we're quoting Emerson now! Deep stuff. (Note to really cool classic courses out there that are sick of spending money updating their courses so people like Bomb and Gouge can play the latest equipment they get for free: it's Mike Stachura and E. Michael Johnson, feel free to charge them double.)

BOMB: But finally, FINALLY you might be coming to your senses. The ball is not the problem. The courses are not the problem. Drivers are not the problem. Know why? They’re ain’t no stinkin’ problem! And we don’t need to go to 7,500 or 8,000 yards, either, to keep it that way.

Opponents of distance regulation have long said “grow some rough.” Worked pretty well at Winged Foot, don’t ya think?

Uh let's see. Tiger said watching the weekend was his "punishment" and according to one publication, the ratings tanked.

Worked great. 

Oh but here's the best part.

Throwing out the Match Play where they don’t keep the stats, there have been 26 events so far on the PGA Tour this year. In nine of them—more than a third—the winner has ranked 34th or higher in driving distance for the week. That’s out of about 70 players or so that make the cut. In six of those events the winner ranked 58th or higher. That’s right, 58TH—a lot closer to last than first. The winner has been in the top 10 exactly 10 times. That means sometimes distance wins and sometimes it doesn’t. And when distance is the difference-maker I’m all for it. Golf is a sport. An athletic endeavor where physical superiority should be rewarded. But unlike weight-lifting, it’s not the sole determinant of success. Tiger, Phil and Vijay may blast the cover off the ball, but I don’t think they’d be choppers if they didn’t. Holmes and John Daly and the like will wow us every so often with a week where they whack the ball a mile and hole an equally-lengthy amount of putts. But Fred Funk will win a Players and Jim Furyk a U.S. Open playing small ball.

So yes, distance only matters sometimes. That's why Bomb and Gouge continue to fight for every golfers right to buy things that let them hit the ball longer, free of USGA regulation.

If distance doesn't matter that much, then why do they so shill so hard to keep it from being regulated? 

"his putting can resemble a form of electric shock treatment"

Thanks to reader Chris for noticing this unusually fun writing from Mark Reason in the Daily Telegraph. Reason was covering the bizarre events at the French Open and filed this story on July 2.

Michael Campbell was leading the French Open by three strokes standing on the 17th tee. Half an hour later he had hit three drives, lost one ball, had another kicked by a lady in a pink hat, had a third mistakenly picked up by his partner's caddie, received more rulings than handed down by an entire session of the House of Lords, and finished the hole by putting out twice. It was beyond strange.

The sequence started when Campbell slashed his opening drive wildly to the right. Initially he thought he had found it in bounds, but it turned out to be neither his ball nor in bounds. So back to the tee he went and carved the ball away for a second time. Thinking that this, too, was out of bounds, he then pulled a provisional drive into the rough on the left.

In fact Campbell's second ball had careened into the tents and hit a lady on the knee. Her first touch was not the best, so she chased after the ball, flicked it with her right foot, brought it under control with her left and then ran upfield with her blouse mercifully not pulled over her head. By the time the ball had finished rolling it was back in bounds.

And this made me cringe...the dreaded "didn't fit their eye" which, I understand usually does some have truth to it, but still...

Many of the top players claim that Golf National, one of the top courses on the circuit, doesn't "fit their eye". It must certainly come as a shock to be playing a course that doesn't allow them to wallop their driver 100 yards west into Frau Schmidt's cucumber frame and then claim a free drop under that week's local rule. But the colossal prize money - 666,660 euros to the winner - has attracted one of the best fields of the season and even the last-place prize money would be more than Barry Jaeckel would have earned for winning the French Open in 1972.

"Barry who?" you may well ask, but the 50-something-year-old Jaeckel turned out to be a cove. He once walked off the course in the middle of a tournament for no apparent reason. He says: "I just short circuited, I felt very crowded." The son of Richard Jaeckel, an accidental character actor who made countless films from the Sands of Iwo Jima with John Wayne to The Dirty Dozen, Barry opted for a life in golf because there were too many "strange" people in films. Jaeckel's final drive of the French Open was a vicious duck hook that was heading for a wasteland of gorse and water. He stormed off the tee quite oblivious to the fact that one of his playing partners was anxious to hit a provisional. His partner waved the ball at Jaeckel's back, then smiled, shrugged and started walking himself. Strange.

And saving the best for last...

Bobby Clampett was another welcome diversion from the tour's usual diet of white-trousered Swede. Some may remember that Clampett, something of a "phenom" in his youth, once led the Open by seven shots after five holes of the third round. He then exploded, perhaps afraid of his own theory that "with great players there is almost something wrong with them."

But here Clampett was in France, his youthful curls going much the same way as Art Garfunkel's, his ball striking still a joy to watch. Unfortunately his putting can resemble a form of electric shock treatment. Clampett is sponsored by Yes Golf - "no other putter in the world is as accurate".

The problem is that the static from Clampett's hair combined with his self-confessed excitement at this amazing product rendered his putter as useful as a lightning rod.

St. Andrews?

In a New York Times story on Ralph Reed's ties to the Jack Abramoff scandal, the paper of record runs a photo "of a 2002 golf trip to St. Andrews in Scotland" that shows, "from left in the front row, the lobbyist Jack Abramoff, Ralph Reed, David H. Safavian and Representative Bob Ney, Republican of Ohio."

I don't think that's St. Andrews!

And boy, amazing how those trench coats really slim down Abramoff!

If You Enjoyed...

...Brett Avery's excellent hole-by-hole live blogging of Michelle Wie's attempt to qualify for the U.S. Open, good news, PGATour.com has announced via email that he's going to be doing it again Thursday and Friday. This time he'll be filing reports on Tiger Woods.

I'll post a link as soon as they have one up and running.

But it should be fun to get an inside-the-ropes perspective on the hoopla surrounding Tiger.

Update on 2006-06-15 13:40 by Geoff

Here's the link to follow Avery's coverage.

Hopkins On Whitten's "Astonishing Attack" On Hoylake

John Hopkins considers Ron Whitten's Golf Digest criticism of Hoylake as a modern day major venue, and offers a rebuttal from the R&A's own in-house designer, Peter Dawson.

It is safe to predict that a few eyebrows would have been raised at Royal Liverpool Golf Club on The Wirral yesterday when word reached it of an astonishing attack in the present issue of Golf Digest, the world’s biggest and best-selling golf magazine. The course that will stage the Open next month is fiercely criticised by Ron Whitten, the architecture editor of the magazine, who calls it “Royal Out of Bounds” and says it is no place for a major championship in the 21st century.

Hoylake is regarded as one of the sternest of all links, and the club has a wonderful history in golf. It slipped from the rota of Open courses after 1967 because the Royal and Ancient Golf Club of St Andrews, organisers of the Open, felt that there were too many problems meeting the requirements of an Open.

And...

Some of Whitten’s displeasure is based on his belief that the course does not have a par five that cannot be reached in two with an iron and many of its par fours are not as long as they look on paper. He also does not like the rerouting of the course. It was done because the R & A wanted a more gentle start than the old 1st, which had out of bounds on both sides, and a stronger finish than the old 18th. The 17th has now become the 1st, the old 1st is the 3rd and the par-five 16th is the 18th.

“I simply don’t agree [with the criticism],” Peter Dawson, the chief executive of the R & A, said. “Those who have played Hoylake have been very complimentary about it.”

The only thing astonishing about the "attack" is that Whitten didn't even focus on the most egregious change of all: Donald Steel's mangling of the old H.S. Colt designed road-perched green on the par-4 17th (No. 2 in the Open).  

It's also a bit disconcerting to read about a 7,200+ course being outdated and questioned as a venue for failing to "keep up with the times," with no mention why this happened or whether this is a reasonable occurrence. The message seems to be: modernize your design at all costs. 

"We see a major as a brand moment"

Richard Sandomir in the New York Times writes about a new Nike ad remembering Earl Woods that will debut this week:

Nike naturally looks to create interest around Woods, especially around the time of golf's four major tournaments. "We see a major as a brand moment," said Adam Roth, Nike's United States advertising director.