"It does not look very good if the captain [Nick Faldo] is qualified to play in the Masters and you're not"

Kind of an odd statement from Monty, whose hope of playing in the Masters is fading...

"I don't want to miss out on the Masters because this is a Ryder Cup year and, if you don't play, you lose out on all the precious points available at Augusta," he said. "If you're not there, you're on the back foot. And it does not look very good if the captain [Nick Faldo] is qualified to play in the Masters and you're not, now does it?

"And Monty’s chums in the media have, it must be said, been doing their level best for their man."

Golfobserver's John Huggan catches up on the state of Monty. Buried deep was this...

Elsewhere, Monty’s propensity for self-promotion has seen him looking further into the future, first to this year’s European Ryder cup side and then to 2014 when the biennial contest with the Americans will make only its second ever visit to Scotland, at Gleneagles. Monty, not surprisingly, has been talking himself up as a possible wild-card pick for later this year – given his current form, he is unlikely to qualify directly - and then non-playing captain for 2014, when the event will take place just down the road from his soon-to-be marital home in leafy Perthshire.

On the face of it, that second scenario would seem to represent a perfect fit: In Scotland, with a proud nation’s finest-ever Ryder Cup player leading the European hordes into battle. And Monty’s chums in the media have, it must be said, been doing their level best for their man. Over the last few months, a procession of pro-Monty pieces has appeared in friendly publications (not coincidentally, at least two golf correspondents, both with right-wing English newspapers, have been invited to the upcoming Monty nuptials) openly and rather blatantly promoting just such an eventuality.

Significantly, few if any of those glowing articles have included quotes from Monty’s fast-depleting band of chums on the European Tour. Yet again, the spectre of Indonesia - and that dodgy replacement of his ball in a spot barely reminiscent of where he should have played from - hangs over the Scot’s rapidly greying head of hair. Call him ‘Colin No-mates.’

They don't forgive or forget. 

"Golf, especially with the chronic amount of time it takes to play a round these days, can be pretty boring most of the time, which is why it needs characters as well as just good players."

It's Martin Johnson writing on golf, need I say more?  Just in case The Telegraph web site disappears some day:

They clamoured around Paul Casey after the Englishman won his second-round match, not to ask Casey anything much about himself, but about Colin Montgomerie. "Tell us Paul, just what is it with Monty?" referring to a character who convinces many of us that global warming can be traced back to Scotland's only active volcano.

American golfers, in general, have the ability to put you into a hypnotic trance as they drone on about their sand saves, or how they're hitting it "real solid", but when Monty is heading for the interview tent people get knocked over in the rush. He knows it, too, and when they were still pouring in to hear his pre-tournament thoughts before last year's Open at Carnoustie, the great man beamed with delight. "Come on," said Monty. "Come along. There's still a bit of room at the back." For many of us, the thrill of attending a golf tournament is not to watch Woods thumping a drive 350 yards, or firing a three-iron to six inches, but being able to say "I was there" when a photographer triggers his lens on the top of Monty's backswing, or a spectator jangles his change on his putting stroke.

Golf, especially with the chronic amount of time it takes to play a round these days, can be pretty boring most of the time, which is why it needs characters as well as just good players. So fingers crossed for Monty qualifying for next month's US Masters. If Woods will not be quaking at seeing Monty's name on the starting sheet, the Augusta National head greenkeeper certainly will be. One bad round and he could see his entire azalea collection reduced to a smouldering heap of garden compost.

"He better come on home with me, then. We've got a lot of changing to do."

Thanks to reader Steve for suggesting I read Boo Weekley's interview transcript from Kapalua (I know, I know...how could I ever pass up the chance?).

The bullets exchange was fun, but this is a nice one for the Monty files:

Q. You played good in China, though, I heard.
BOO WEEKLEY: Yeah, we played good in China. We fed off each other, me and Heath. That was a plus. That was a great time over there. I mean, it was great to be able to go over and represent your country. We didn't know -- I knew how he was going to play but I didn't know how I was going to play. I knew he was going to play good because he's been playing and practicing and I had been up in a woods hunting.

Q. Up in a tree killing something is what Monty said, your new best friend?
BOO WEEKLEY: Yeah, I heard he kind of liked me.

Q. He did. He wants to be like you.
BOO WEEKLEY: (Laughing) he better come on home with me, then (laughter). We've got a lot of changing to do (laughter).

Monty Gets Good Night's Rest, Bamboozles Pen Pushers Into Believing He Is A Merry Old Chap

I was stunned to enter Sherwood's cart barn today to find a jovial group of writers parsing the Colin Montgomerie transcript, only to hear things like "he really can be nice if he wants" and "he's not the fat shlub I thought he would be" and "how's that mysterious looking shredded chicken?"

Apparently Monty put on quite the show for his 9:15 press conference, which is about three hours before any sane individual would arrive to listen to any tour player but Tiger. However, there are those with early deadlines so the turnout was lovely. You can read the lovefest here, or get the overview from Mark Lamport-Stokes.

Or I can put it more succinctly: Monty and Captain Faldo have figured out a way to give the impression that they get along.

Lamport-Stokes:

"I've spoken to Nick and it's fine," Montgomerie told a news conference on Wednesday during preparation for this week's Target World Challenge. "It doesn't concern me."

After being criticised by Faldo for an apparent lack of team spirit at the Seve Trophy in September, Montgomerie countered by saying such comments should have been directed to him personally instead of through the media.

With that hatchet now seemingly buried, Montgomerie believes it is paramount for Europe to maintain the team unity that has helped them win the Ryder Cup five times in the last six years.

"Let's hope the ambiance of our European team remains as it has done throughout that time, meaning that we go in there relaxed, we go in there as a team," he said of next year's contest in Louisville, Kentucky.

Ah that's the team spirit!

Newsflash From The City: Monty and Faldo Still Can't Stand Each Other

Preferring to keep the matter a public spectacle, Monty penned a Telegraph column where he not only stirs the pot, but also reveals how to gain 20 yards without lifting a weight or injecting your rump with steroids. Hint: buy Yonex!

First, here's where he makes clear that Nick Faldo's Christmas card has not arrived yet...in the lead to the column no less:

Since Marc Warren and I won the World Cup for Scotland at the weekend, I've had one or two people ask whether Nick Faldo would have been taking note of what happened in China. As next year's Ryder Cup captain, he would almost certainly have been looking at the progress of all of the European players, especially since this was a team tournament. I know that if I was the captain, I would have been riveted by events at Mission Hills.

As is well known, Nick and I had a difference of opinion as to whether I was a good team member in the Seve Trophy a couple of months ago. When people pitched in to say what I would have said myself - that my commitment in a team situation has never been less than 100 per cent - I was able to stay out of things to a degree.

We haven't been in touch since but I really don't think that matters. We have known each other for years and have a lot of shared history and I am confident that both of us can move on from here without anything being said.

And what better way to make that clear to Nick than in a widely read newspaper column!

But more importantly... 

On the three days we played with South Africa, there were occasions when Retief Goosen, who is one of our longer hitters, was looking at me in mingled astonishment and disbelief.

You know, I could touch that one, but I won't. Not when you get insights like this.

He was staggered that I was not just up with him off the tee but often hitting the shorter iron into the green. In the last round, for example, I hit a six-iron more than 200 yards to pave the way for the eagle at the 15th which put us ahead of the Americans for the first time.

I'm not about to pretend that it's all down to the work I've been doing in the gym.

Car washing? 

The truth is that it's due to the 2008 version of my Yonex clubs. Both with the woods and the irons I'm getting an extra 20 yards.

Wow, check the grooves on those babies!

It really is exciting to be adding yards rather than subtracting them at my age.

So very, very exciting.

"I have always liked Jack Nicklaus, mainly because his designs work well for me as a player. We both hit a high fade, and you can see that this shot is rewarded on courses he designs."

Mandarin Media sent out this not-totally-horrible press release/Q&A with Colin Montgomerie, though I did have to share this with you:

MM: What designers do you most admire, and what about their designs do you value so much?
 
CM: I have always liked Jack Nicklaus, mainly because his designs work well for me as a player. We both hit a high fade, and you can see that this shot is rewarded on courses he designs. What Tom Weiskopf has done at Loch Lomond (in Scotland) is also very impressive to me. Understanding that guys like this are both major champions and accomplished architects allows you to see what they have incorporated into their designs. And of course, I always find TPC at Sawgrass (in Florida) a fantastic challenge. What Pete Dye has done there makes every shot a demanding one, and in reality danger lurks around every corner. There is no letting up.
 
MM: You’ve got a handful of designs under your belt now, and a good dozen more in the works. What kind of comment do you strive to bring forth from those who play your courses? Why?
 
CM: There has always been some debate regarding the value that professional golfers offer when it comes to course design. I think that because we have had the opportunity to play the best courses in the world, with some of the best players in the world, who is better positioned to help design golf holes with great shot values and memorable features? I like to integrate the natural terrain wherever possible, and consider the course not only from the pro’s perspective but also from the perspective of those who are just playing for enjoyment and the love of the game. You will see I select grasses that allow for the best conditioning, because this is important to me. You will see that I like green complexes with options, and often incorporate little chipping and pitching areas around them. And, of course, you can always count on having several fairways receptive to nice high, faded drivers!

At least he's honest about his narcissism. 

“Monty’s a tough one. He was the only one whose emotions I had to deal with.

The all time worst buried lede award may go to John Hopkins for sticking this quote from Nick Faldo at the end of a boring piece on Faldo's "Captain's log."

“Monty’s a tough one,” Faldo said. “He was the only one whose emotions I had to deal with. He only came to two of the five team meetings, so that was disappointing. Then he had to be teased out on to the 18th green to support his team. The bottom line was that he hadn’t won a point. That’s why I sent him out first in the singles. That’s the place to get a point. And he did.”

Update on 2007-10-12 15:20 by Geoff

Bernard Gallacher weighs in and it's now official, we have full on Ryder Cup soap opera a year out!

But Gallacher was damning with his response. He said: "Nick should be more discrete at this stage, especially as the Ryder Cup is next year. He should keep that sort of stuff for his memoirs after the Ryder Cup, rather than saying it now."

But Gallacher, who had Faldo in all his three teams, said: "I never felt Nick was a real team player but I accepted that as a captain because he gave you points.

And...

"He wasn't a player like Seve, in as much as Seve would try and rule the team meetings and be out on the course rooting for the players. Nick always wanted to play with the best players. I went along with that because he was pretty good.

"But sometimes tactically you need to split the best players up. Seve was always up for that but Nick wasn't."

Monty Studying Faldo's Mistakes In Preparation For Own Ryder Cup Captaincy

Wonder if Monty's picking out uniforms for 2010 yet? No, he's not presuming. No, not at all.

Colin Montgomerie has admitted he will learn from the controversy surrounding Paul McGinley's resignation from the Ryder Cup vice-captaincy when his own chance to lead the European team eventually comes round.

Irishman McGinley withdrew from his role as one of European skipper Nick Faldo's right-hand men in the build up to last week's Seve Trophy after declaring his intention is to focus on playing his way into the team for the 2008 clash with the US in Kentucky.

Montgomerie, speaking ahead of Thursday's £2.5million Dunhill Links championship at St Andrews, Carnoustie and Kingsbarns, is being touted as a favourite to land the captaincy role when the biennial joust returns to European soil in 2010.

And the 44-year-old former European Tour number one, a veteran of eight Ryder Cup contests, said: "There are lessons to be learned, yes.

"One of the best selections we've had in the past 10 years was Thomas Bjorn in 2004.

"He didn't make the team a month before the event and was given an assistant captain's role and did a brilliant job.

"That to me is when the vice captains should be selected, when we know the team and when we know that certain experienced Ryder Cup players have maybe missed the team. They can then help the captain at that stage.

"There is little a vice-captain can do at this early stage to be honest. If I was in the captain's role I would hopefully select a Ryder Cup captain a month before the event."

Prepare yourself. This is frightening:

Monty tees-up at Carnoustie in the opening round in company of amateur partner Ray Romano, star of US sitcom 'Something About Raymond' with Faldo and musician, Huey Lewis, making up an intriguing fourball.

Montgomerie, who won the Dunhill Links title in 2005, added: "I started watching 'Something About Raymond' recently and I found it very funny.

"Ray is obviously keen on golf and he's on the PGA Tour's website explaining his love of the game. With Nick and Huey also playing with us, it should be very interesting."

“By partnering with Colin and his brand, we are certain we will achieve that, and give the marketplace something it just hasn’t seen in this country to-date.”

Why satirize when you can just copy and paste...

Montgomerie-designed course taking shape along Central Coast

DA NANG, Viet Nam (25 September 2007) — Course construction is well underway here amid the tropical dunescape of Vietnam’s fastest growing resort destination, where a Colin Montgomerie design will soon stand as the area’s first 18-hole layout.

Located just off famed China Beach and minutes from Da Nang’s international airport, The Montgomerie Links Vietnam has been routed to capitalize on its close proximity to both the warm, tranquil South China Sea and striking Marble Mountains, which are clearly visible from various points on the course.

And where the morning Napalm smells so nice...

All-time European Tour money winner Montgomerie—better known as Monty to his worldwide fan base—has worked with this stunning setting of casuarina pines and scruffy dunes to create what will be a true links experience. The front nine opens for play next summer.

“The land is absolutely spectacular,” said Jeff Puchalski, Vice President of Golf Operations for Danao International Holdings Limited, a subsidiary of Indochina Capital, developer of The Montgomerie Links Vietnam. “Hoi An is known for being a UNESCO World Heritage site but what people don’t know is that it has an amazing beachscape, which makes the perfect palette for a links style course. I believe it will give everyone who plays it the feeling of being in Ireland or Scotland—without the cold temperatures you find in the British Isles. It’s got the terrain golf purists dream about.”

It’s also got something very few courses can lay claim to: a pedigree bearing the words “The Montgomerie,” which is verbiage reserved for designs where the site and development partners were personally chosen by Monty himself. Only four other layouts in the world can boast these qualities.

“I am very selective about applying my special design brand,” Montgomerie explained. “Indochina’s The Montgomerie Links Vietnam has a spectacular site and I am proud to be doing my first and only Montgomerie in Vietnam with Indochina Capital.”

My first and only Montgomerie. Talking about ourselves in the third person now. Always a healthy sign.

Indochina Capital is familiar with grandly distinctive projects. In fact, it has already made a splash in the same vicinity, with The Nam Hai, Vietnam’s first super-luxury resort. This collection of 100 freestanding villas on nearby Ha My Beach opened on 1 December 2006 but has rapidly earned a prestigious reputation. Less than a year old, it’s already been recognized by some of the most influential magazines in the world in recent months, including Travel + Leisure and Conde Nast Traveler.

“The whole idea with the golf course is to provide an experience that is right in line with The Nam Hai,” said Peter Ryder, CEO of Indochina Capital. “By partnering with Colin and his brand, we are certain we will achieve that, and give the marketplace something it just hasn’t seen in this country to-date.”

A product of Royal Troon in Scotland—a British Open rotation mainstay—Monty has implemented classic, Old World design elements into the Da Nang course, such as rolling, treeless fairways, thick rough,

Oh yeah, that's classical...sorry...

massive greens and tight chipping areas. Among the holes sure to be memorable are Nos. 7 and 13, a pair of par 4s with some of the deepest bunkers on the course.

How novel!

The only departure from tradition comes in the form of several lakes and streams, a must when considering the region’s seasonably high water table.

True true. And so linksy.

“Players will be amazed and, I believe, impressed with how we have routed this collection of holes through an incredibly natural formation of dunes and seaside vegetation,” said Montgomerie. “This is as close as you can get to true links golf in Vietnam. It will be a treat to experience.”

In addition to the course, the development will include 60 sleek residential units, a stylish clubhouse and a comprehensive driving range/practice facility, which is slated to open by the first of the year.

IMG is providing the design team, and managing course construction. IMG, also Montgomerie’s agent, is best known in Vietnam for its designs at Ocean Dunes, Dalat Palace and the newly-opened Tam Dao, just north of Hanoi.

“Until now, no course has been built in Vietnam outside the orbits of Ho Chi Minh City and Hanoi,” said Ryder. “What golfers are going to find here is a course not to be missed, etched by one of the real legends of the game.”

IMG is a legend of the game?

"Four hours should be the limit to play a round in a three-ball - fine everybody that takes over that."

Monty's complaining about an under-5 hour round! I guess he forgot the PGA Tour would kill for a round that speedy on a Thursday or Friday.  Mark Garrod reports:

After an opening 70 in the Quinn Direct British Masters at The Belfry that took only ten minutes under five hours, Montgomerie called for a clampdown on slow play.

"It's a problem every week," he said. "Four hours should be the limit to play a round in a three-ball - fine everybody that takes over that. We're given too long to play the course.

"I was brought up on a three-hour game of golf and the pace of play out here is too slow."

The eight-time European No.1 was delighted to hear that two players - England's Gary Lockerbie and Brazilian Alexandre Rocha - had been fined £4000 for taking too long yesterday. But he will be happier still if others get the message and get a move on. And that includes Ryder Cup team-mate Robert Karlsson and English pair Ross Fisher and Edward Rush, who were the three players immediately in front of him again today.

Montgomerie was paired with South African Richard Sterne and Spain's Santiago Luna and commented: "Richard only took 65 and is very quick, Santiago is another quick player and I'm one of the fastest out here.

"So it felt slow. We had a very fast group behind a very slow one!"

Good News! Monty Putting Design Career On Hold To Keep Playing

Yes, he's depriving us of several signature designs, but the game will survive (I hope). From an unbylined Daily Mirror piece where he talks mostly about his divorce and health problems:

"Some people might say: 'You've done well but give it a break and do something else'," he said. "I've got the golf course design company and other bits and bobs away from golf.But golf is who I am. It totally defines me. I still love the competition and I love winning. Don't tell the sponsors but they don't have to pay me because winning means more.

Monty's Ego Swells On Eve Of Open Championship

Mark Garrod reports on our man's big win in the European Open, making him a favorite to be asked for pre-tournament press center visits at Loch Lomond and Carnoustie.

Montgomerie fired a closing 65 to win by one from Swede Niclas Fasth, having started the day in joint seventh place four behind. The Scot's odds for winning the forthcoming Open Championship at Carnoustie have now been cut from 100/1 to 50/1 by William Hill who also offer him at 20/1 to win the Scottish Open at Loch Lomond next week.

Hmm...resistable.

"This is not an important win - it's a very, very important win," he said. "You wonder if it's ever going to happen, of course you do. You have self-doubts and I'm so glad. I'm thrilled with the success.

"I've never made a winner's speech and said I was unlucky and I was fortunate at the last two today."

Monty Fumes For French; Lays Groundwork For 2026 Captaincy

Perhaps sensing that he may be passed up as Ryder Cup captain by more popular anyone with a pulse, Colin Montgomerie lashed out at his fellow Euro Tour mates members for skipping the French Open this week.

Gordon Richardson reports in The Guardian that the merry Scot slyly laid the groundwork for an inevitable showdown with Thomas Levet and Jean Van de Velde over who will be selected to guide the Euros should some wealthy developer come along and blatantly bribe offer to host for a Ryder Cup at France's National Club.

"It's very, very disappointing because this event starts the run up to the Open Championship and it deserves a stronger feel - the National Club is one of the best if not the best we play in Europe and it's certain to stage the Ryder Cup one day.

"There are stadium holes everywhere and a wonderful finish - imagine the carry-ons there would be in match play situations here. Sadly it will probably be 2026 before it can happen, with Sweden and Germany probably coming in first."

Monty Selects Next Caddie To Be Unceremoniously Dumped For No Good Reason

Craig Connolly, the caddie who worked with Paul Casey until the US Open at Oakmont, clearly enjoys punishment.